Chelsea emphasised their good form at The Riverside with a magnificent 5 - 0 thumping of hapless Middlesbrough. Saloman Kalou opened the scoring on fourteen minutes and that was the way it stayed until the fifty-first minute when Belletti doubled the advantage. Three goals in fourteen minutes then put the contest beyond doubt as Kalou netted his second with Lampard and Malouda completing the rout.

With the first half over at Anfield, Chelsea looked set fair to open a three point gap up over their nearest rivals, Liverpool trailing Wigan and generally having been used as floor mops during the course of the first half. Amr Zaki broke the deadlock just before the half-hour, a lead pegged back by Dirk Kuyt whose celebrations included a quick snatch of ‘The Ace Of Spades’, previewing his entry in the Air Guitar World Cup. Not to be outdone, Zaki scored one of the goals of the season with a spectacular bicycle kick in first half injury time. Matters nearly went from bad to worse for Liverpool as the woodwork denied the visitors but as usual, weak officiating at the Kop End saved the day as for the second week running, Liverpool’s opponents were reduced to ten men, Valencia receiving two yellow cards. Albert Riera drew the hosts level with ten minutes to go and Kuyt performed ‘Highway To Hell’ following his eighty-third minute winner. Robbie Keane Watch: No goals mean that his eBay auction would fetch about twenty pence.

Hull City are Riding Along On The Crest Of A Wave as they brought forth a slew of really bad London 0 Hull 4 from the Sheep. Flag Day arrived with Turner’s goal enough to give them a 1 - 0 win over West Ham United at the KC Stadium.

Arsenal fans have long sung, “Let’s all laugh” at Tottenham so it seems a shame for the rest of us not to join in, particularly as they are serving up performances of a similar quality to the jokes of Jimmy Cricket - not the Disney character but the crap 1980s comedian - crumbling like a stale cake to a 2 - 1 at The Britannia Stadium. Stoke City took the lead when Danny Higginbotham converted a nineteenth minute penalty following a professional foul by Gareth Bale that earned the Spurs defender an early bath. The shower were still on the pitch and fought back to equalise through Darren Bent six minutes later. Rory Delap grabbed the points for Stoke and it might have been more were it not for the woodwork, Gomes and a missed penalty. Indeed, Gomes might be considered more of a danger to his own defence than any forward, poleaxing Corluka twice. Obviously he was not satisfied with his first effort and needed the second to completely total the Croat.

On the subject of Arsenal which I vaguely was, they overcame Leon Osman’s ninth minute opener to beat Everton at The Emirates. Goals from Nasri, Adebayor and Walcott in the second half secured a 3 - 1 win. Eejits R Us had their clearance sale and one found his way to Villa Park where a coin hit the Assistant Referee. It was the only thing that hit the target as Aston Villa and Portsmouth served up a goalless draw. Mind you, according to Harry Redknapp the coin was aimed at him so that missed as well. Nothing was on target at The Reebok as Bolton, continued to fail to beat Blackburn Rovers at home, the tenth year running that the visitors have left this derby with at least one point.

Keiran Richardson found the net with a storming freekick that was ruled out for Chimbonda’s shenanigans in the wall as Sunderland left Craven Cottage scratching their heads as to how they did not beat Fulham. It wasn’t the only foul play in the wall as Jimmy Bullard grabbed Chimbonda in the box in the lead up to Richardson’s effort. The woodwork also played its part, leaving the unveiling of Johnny Haynes statue before kick-off as the memorable event of the day.

Least surprising result of the day was Manchester United’s 4 - 0 drubbing of West Bromwich Albion. Second half goals from Rooney, Ronaldo, Berbatov and Nani did the damage. At Newcastle, Rob Styles was the villain of the piece wrongly dismissing Beye in the twelfth minute, a decision overturned on appeal by the FA. Robinho converted the resultant penalty but it only sparked the Toon into action as Ameobi and a Richard Dunne own goal seemed to have given them three points before Stephen Ireland popped up to salvage an equaliser for Manchester City.

Tags: Football, premier league, Soccer

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